My path: brief summary

In our lives there are few moments that force us to reevaluate the way we
approach our core beliefs. Whether we can actually control what we believe or
not is in question. I tend to think that we don't actually control what we
believe so much as we control what we do with our beliefs. The average person
either doesn't challenge their own beliefs, or they don't see a reason to
challenge their beliefs. Many can go their entire lives without seeing this as
a necessity. For some we get into a situation where something we see, read, or
experience can cause a moment of self-reflection. If confronted with this
situation some people can find themselves not trusting their own mind. I know
that for me it was very disturbing. I still find myself embarrassed at the way
I saw the world. Many of the things I thought were true, were completely false.
I believed in all sorts of conspiracy theories, magic and above all God.
As I came into adulthood I was slowly letting go of the specific gods of
scripture, and fell into a pseudo deism. It was closer to pantheism. I believed
that all of the god claims were true,but just misunderstood by the rest of the
world. I believed that God was an emergent phenomena of the collective
consciousness of the entire world. I was so completely convinced I had this
right,and the rest of the world held onto scripture because they were unable to
think properly. This to has slowly faded to where now I look back and laugh at
how wrong I was. I had just became very astute at leading the evidence to my
conclusion.